Looking Back and Forth from God to Me

The story of multiplication of the loaves and fishes was the Gospel for Mass yesterday. All the time I was growing up, well, for the first 50 years or so of my life, the story suggested to me that Jesus was God and He would feed his sheep. Then a few years ago in a sermon, a Priest pointed out that perhaps the miracle of the loaves and fishes was a more human miracle. Perhaps the folks who were sitting out there listening to Jesus had stashes of food themselves and when the baskets were passed that day, they shared what they had and that's what created the surplus that became visible once the scraps were collected.

I do not think this second interpretation is new, but it is different from what I learned. And I did find myself looking at the Gospel a little deeper. Once I am taught something, especially when the Sisters taught it or reinforced it in Catholic School, I don't like a whole new slant encroaching itself on my head. But, I did think about it...for a while. Then I said to myself, I think I will stick to the original interpretation: Jesus performed a miracle and fed thousands of people with a few fish and seven loaves.

Our Priest made a great point yesterday in his sermon at Mass that I thought was worth mentioning here. He pointed out that our math is not the same as God's math. When we believe that the world has us cornered and the deck is stacked against us, don't despair. The multiplication of the loaves and fishes reminds us that we should not confine our hopes and dreams to human logic. I don't think the idea is to have false hope--that each and every problem is just going to go away, but I think it's a very good idea to maintain hope and faith in God at all times and know He will take care of us. Regardless of what we face, one way or another there is good on the other side of it. When the chips are down, we don't need to mope about, because with God, it will all come out in the wash. And in this way, the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes is really one that requires us to reflect back to ourselves. While God will take care of us, we need to maintain faith that He will. And when we have that kind of faith, our lives here will be so much better. We can stop worrying so much because we know the Lord has no limitations. The Lord is not confined to our mathematics.

Bait and Twitch Bad News for Catholics

I suppose for many people, it makes sense that every time someone makes a caustic or critical remark about you or someone or something that is dear to your heart, you need to respond and set that person right. Some people and organizations find that in today's world, responding to criticisms can take up a lot of time. There is an army of haters out there today so if you are in the public eye and going to respond to the bait of hate mail/email, it's going to be labor intensive.

Many people hardly ever respond--I suppose they just kind of twitch nervously over it or I suppose they don't let it get to them.

On the Internet, you often find that the person who is making the caustic hateful remark is way past convincing anyway. My guess is that these people are living in some kind of weird state of abnormal and you are better off never engaging them whatsoever. Let them vent and then get out of the way may be the best approach in many cases.

There seems to be lot of hate that goes on with posting and stories on the Catholic Church and other Catholic organizations. If you look at responses to many Catholic stories or articles, often someone in the string of comments will make some statement about criminal Priests. The logic, if it can be called logic, is that anything the church says or anything anyone who is associated with the church says, is to be completely discounted because of the sins of Priests or former Priests.

Often when someone says something unjustly it is so far afield from the topic of the article itself. In other circumstances, someone either informally or formally makes a comment in defense of the church and then a full out debate occurs online on the relative merits and demerits of the church or those involved with the church. Many times the attacks on church personnel are by purported Catholics themselves--ones who say "leave the church" if you don't agree with me. The problem that occurs is that when the attacked person responds to these crazy attacks, it just heaps more attention to the baseless attack and the person who is making it.

Of course, one can also argue that without coming to the defense of the church, the attacks get all the publicity. I am not so sure. There is no easy answer. I do believe that the more solid positive articles about the church, the better. If hateful comments follow, I believe people often skim through a few comments and then ignore the rest.

We live in a world where authorities of all shapes and sizes can take advantage of those to whom they are intrusted to protect. Our world is so corrupt that people need to be mindful that sometimes there is danger from our protectors. Certainly, much has been written and said about abusive Priests--by the same token there are many instances recently of teachers and coaches involved in abuse as well. Often people who are closest to those injured are the ones who hurt the innocent. We are so used to parents doing awful things to their children, those kind of stories rarely get much attention except in celebrated cases with celebrities. We also have military men who come back home and use their weapons and training to hurt others. We have police who steal and injure others. We have a few fireman who start fires. We have fathers who hurt and abuse their children. We have mothers who do the same. Much of the store theft that plagues our retail businesses comes from employees. We have bankers and financial professionals who have stolen untold amounts of money from investors. In Illinois, we have a number of governors who have been convicted of crimes that have hurt citizens. All these people injure those who essentially they are sworn to protect.

But getting back to point of this post. When people who are in authority are criticized there is often little they can do to get a fair shake in our world today. I'd like to see a little less criticism myself and here are a few guidelines I think are worth following on Catholic issues:
1. Don't criticize Priests for the small stuff or perceived issues of doctrine. If you want to be the number one theologian in the Catholic church and the new defender of the faith--seek a proper education and go about it honestly.

2. The world does not need another self righteous critic who touts innumerable venomous thoughts-- either liberal or conservative on all things Catholic. If you want to vent, at least stick to your own blog rather than surf the net composting rubbish at every site that mentions anything Catholic.

3. The person one can most effectively change is the one who looks back at us in the mirror. Take a good look in the mirror before you want to start with others.

4. Don't drag the good with the bad, take the bad with the good. There is no reason to spend so much time trying to read between the lines when someone speaks about faith, especially if it's someone who has devoted his or her entire life to the church.

5. Pray for a better day all the way around.

Copyright 2012, Lawrence M. Norris

A Few Holy Cards in the Pocket

I am not one of those people who have to be texting or talking on the phone every two or three minutes. No, I am OK with a quiet moment. But, there are times when a routine, becomes, well a routine. For example, I take our dog for a fairly long walk each day (Cuddles is shown in the photo). It helps the both of us stay slim and trim (hardly, but it helps some). But, there are times when looking at the little stinker sniffing at the grass can get weary. Other times, I may find myself feeling weary is when I am in a long line someplace or when I am sitting waiting for someone "staring at the four walls."

Prayer

My dad used to spend hours walking around Hyde Park on his police beat. He had such a gift of gab that he would often strike up a conversation with people around him--he was great with strangers. But, he did have his introspective moments and I can remember him encouraging us to pray. He often carried a Rosary with him. But he also encouraged prayer for those around you. You pass by a cemetery, "say a Hail Mary for the dead." You hear an ambulance, "say a prayer for the injured." You see someone poor or suffering,"say a prayer for them." In this way, he was never very far away from God and always encouraging us. No doubt his mother and father encouraged him and their parents encouraged them.

I've tried to follow my dad's advice. Prayer is something that gets easier as you get older--it seems that you just need so much more. If you are like me, you feel that "the Good Lord" has your number. If for a moment, you ever start to think too highly of yourself and say, less highly of others, something happens to knock you down a few pegs. Some would call that superstition, I call it fact.

When you really think about it, your challenges in life are probably no greater than most folks. At least that's the way it works with me. Most of us would rather have the problems that we know than change places with others and take on theirs. But at the same time, I often feel a little desperate in my own life. Like Saint Patrick, I'd like to ask God to surround me from all sides, to protect me and my family. "Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me..."

Holy Cards

I found a very nice way to help me feel more connected to the Man upstairs. I've gotten into the habit of having a few holy cards in my coat pocket. In those moments where I need to connect at any part of the day, I take out a card and say the prayer on it. Every so often I go to the Catholic book store and pick up a new card and switch them around. They laminate these now, so you can keep them in your pocket without ruining them. I've got a Saint Brigid, a Saint Patrick and an Angelus card and a few cards I got from new priests that memorialize their ordinations. The cards are like a text message from God. Beep-beep, God's calling. Pull out the card and pray.

I read the Saint Brigid one most often these days. "...May the mantle of your peace cover those who are troubled and anxious, and may peace be firmly rooted in our hearts and in our world..."

A Saint for Book People in Time of Need

Book sellers and publishers need someone who can intercede on their behalf to a higher power. Book people have faced lingering storm clouds lasting several years! One cloud is the economic forces that have reduced consumer confidence and the second cloud is the changing state of publishing and bookselling today. The book business has taken many twists and turns in the last decade. Lots of very smart book people who were highly successful in the business a decade ago are out of business today. Despite a lot of grousing about book prices, the margins on book selling has always been puny compared to many others business. Publishers have often struggled with a mix of book titles that yield one winner for every nineteen money-losers.

Many believe ebooks will only make things worse. What the ebook revolution does is lower the bar for entry and introduce hundreds of thousands of titles that would never have seen the light of day had someone had to invest several thousand dollars to have the book produced in print. The same dynamic is played out with print on demand. As out of pocket costs decrease, entry increases.

The new easy entry market has greatly impacted those people who were willing to put some "green" skin in the game--be they publishers or self-published authors who were willing to spend a few thousand dollars to have their books see the light of day. Virtual books that can be sent to consumers about as easily as a telephone call have heaped upon the reading public a mountain of choices. How are these hundreds of thousands of new authors able to invest their time to put new titles out in the market of titles that seem as vast as desert sand? Well a visit to some of the sites where authors meet and greet these days "virtually" suggests that authoring and self-publishing has become kind of new age hobby. Write a book in retirement or while someone else pays your bills or while you pay your bills yourself with money you made doing something else. Spend some time attempting to land the book with an agent or a publisher. Wait a short while and then self publish with the help of thousands of do-it-yourself sites or consultants. Then sit back and chat online about the wonderful work you have done and the awful state of the publishing industry. I kid you not--this is essentially the theme.

If you happen to be one of those who write books or are in publishing to make a living, you may need help. But you might not need help from a marketing consultant, a web page guru, an epub expert or anything of that sort. You may need help from a higher power! I'm talking about the highest of powers. No, not Google or Amazon or Apple. How about God?

You can certainly take your woes right to the Man. You simply get on your knees, close your eyes and tell the Boss you need help.

Additionally, if you happen to believe in Saints, there is a special one who can intercede on your account if you ask him.

In some circles, people pray to saints asking them to intercede on their behalf to God. There are a million different ways to look at this and I am not going to get into it much here. To many this seems odd, a kind of polytheism, but for many it's a wonderful way to include a whole "village of holy people" in their lives. There are endless stories of saints that make up an enormous literature of faith and inspiration.

The Man for Book People

Saint John of God is what reporters today would call a "great story." John was born in Portugal in 1495--just a few years after Columbus "sailed the blue." He came from modest, but devout parents. As a youth, he was innocent and virtuous. But when he joined the military of the King of Spain Charles V, well, that's when things went south. According to Butler (the old authority on all things saints), the "licentiousness of his companions" helped him go astray. Eventually, he renewed his faith, but not after he had done some things that he would regret for the rest of his life.

It might seem very strange to us, back in those times, some holy people would actually go out and seek martyrdom. They would go out into the world maintaining a holy attitude and life mission in the midst of authorities and ruffians who had their own mission in life--to kill those who didn't believe as they did. Saint John of God decided to seek martyrdom. He thought Africa would be a good place for it.

Traveling to Africa, he prayed, repented, and humbly served a once-prosperous Portuguese man and his family who had fallen on hard times. However, before he ran into some nasty people or a despot who would kill him for his faith, he was somehow convinced that martyrdom was something that one should not seek directly. He settled on something a little less dramatic for his mission. He left Africa and traveled to Spain. He traveled the countryside selling religious articles and books. According to Butler, on the road, John had a mystical experience meeting a child who turned out to be the Christ child. The Child called him "John of God" and said "Granada will be your cross." John then moved on to Granada where he sold little devotional books and statues. This was something fitting a pious man and it was certainly something that might help others find virtue. His brief bookselling days earned him the title of Patron Saint of Booksellers long after his death. The designation of Patron Saint of Booksellers also takes in others involved in the book trade such as publishers. He is Patron Saint of Hospitals and the Sick.

But John was a bit of a zealot. After hearing a sermon by a famous preacher of the time, John D'Avila, Saint John went mad with guilt and remorse--he cried out in church and then ran around the streets where people threw things at him. He gave away any money he had made and all his possessions. Many preachers are actually very practical people despite the negative things you might hear. D'Avila was one of them. He tried to talk some sense into John of God and it seemed to work for a while, but then a kind of madness crept back and John was committed to a "madhouse." A madhouse in those days was a place where mentally ill patients were treated cruelly. D'Avila must have been appalled when he heard of John's fate and set out again to set Saint John right. D'Avila convinced him that he could do more positive things than punish himself--he had been punished enough at that point. Thus, Saint John went out renewed with piety and charity to serve the poor, the sick, and those who were the most vulnerable in the society. He created a hospital.

Saint John became so well known for his piety and devotion to the poor, that the rich were often competing with each other to see who might offer the most support and aid to the "hospital" he created. He achieved a certain fame from his work, but for his part, Saint John had no interest at all in being esteemed by anyone for anything. When one woman called him a hypocrite, it was said he gave her some money and asked her to go out in public and proclaim the same. When a complaint came to the Archbishop that Saint John was harboring bad women and the idle in his hospital, Saint John prostrate himself before the man and cried out that he was the worse person at the hospital and that he had fallen short of serving others like the Master they both served. No doubt the Bishop backed off.

In time, everyone looked at Saint John as a force for virtue and holiness. He gave 100% to his "mission." And like everyone who give 100%, he wore himself out and took ill. When he took ill, he had to be ordered to leave service at his hospital. As he neared death, he gave one final blessing to the community. He died at exactly 55 years of age.

Saint John would receive credit for the founding of the Order of Charity, which was in fact formally organized after his death. He wasn't in the book business for long, but he certainly followed his heart and his convictions. He was certainly a man of great passion. If you are in the book business, pray to Saint John and ask him to put in a good word for you. No doubt he will do it stridently.

If you'd like to see my book business go to Sporting Chance Press.

A Little Bing for the Baby Boy

We have a baby in our house sometimes. His mother comes round as she gets settled before heading back to work in the coming weeks. He'll have his home to go to, but he is always welcome here as well.

The other day, he was fussing quite a bit--nothing very serious--he was fed and changed. I remember my father taking charge when my oldest daughter had exhausted everyone in our house at the time--he could sit with the screaming child and just laugh and smile while we got a little shut eye. So I asked to take our new guest for a while. I walked around the house -- here and there. The boy loves to see the changes in the room and seems to respond with interest to the light. His interest would last a few minutes and then he needed to move on.

I know he is a big Bing Crosby fan because a few days earlier when the boy's mom and his granny were out shopping, I had played Bing's Christmas CD and he enjoyed it very much although it is a bit out of season. So I took him up to my "office" and put on You Tube and Bing's "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral." You can't rock in an office chair, so I just swung the chair back and forth--Bing and I sung a duet--Bing thought I was a little pitchy at times, but the baby didn't seem to mind. The baby fell asleep, but not until he listened to the entire recording. Just as he went to sleep, I got a business call and his mom took him away to his crib. Bing was pleased.

Two Catholic Principles

If you grew up poor, but proud, you might recall the feeling of knowing that some things could not be taken away from you--at least not without some kind of violence. If you didn't have nice clothes or a nice house, or most anything nice, you might still have a family that you loved. It may have been difficult if not impossible to maintain a healthy self-respect, but maybe you mustered something that felt a little like it.

If you lived around people with more money than your family, you might have carried a bit of chip on your shoulder. Perhaps you were jealous at times and envied other people, but maybe, just maybe you wouldn't have traded your family for anything and the things you held most dear. Maybe you had honest decent parents or siblings or a wonderful grandmother that you loved.

Despite how bad or even humiliated you felt by your own poverty, you had this sense that at the most fundamental level, you were just as good as anyone else. You thought "God loves me just as much as anyone else. God loves poor people."

In some ways you had two guiding principles. One, that if you lived as God intended you, that as poor as you were, you could be rich. In fact you could be richer than even rich people in your place with God. You thought God would love you and take care of you in the end--and some day you would be successful. You would make your mark and in some way make the sacrifices that you and other people made for you pay off. You would know that being rich wasn't so important, even if you became rich. But being good in the eyes of God was very important.

If you went to Catholic school, the Sisters often emphasized that being poor was no sin. They also taught you to put your coins in the little mission bank and your quarters in the church envelopes. Give if you can--and "that but by the grace of God could be you" in one of those impoverished countries.

The second guiding principle you had was that no one could take away the value of you--your soul. You knew that your body was your body and no one else could own it. No one could take away your human dignity and you had things that you would never sell to the richest person on earth. If you had children this thought became more powerful. If you had a beautiful or talented or athletic child, you knew that no one could buy that child. No amount of money could force you to sell something so precious as your child. And no amount of money could ever be a tiny percentage of the value of that child. If you were poor, you probably understood this better than anyone because you understood it at the most base level. Maybe your child was part of a team or in a school band or a choir-- and your child was wonderful. Maybe your child was not so wonderful, but that child still made you proud. Maybe at the same time, you wished you could have given them better clothes or more music lessons or better athletic training. Somehow the world may seem unfair at times, but at its most basic level, you could have a family of love and support. On the one hand, you might complain to the Man upstairs about finances or your job or your lack of job, but you would still thank him and know that when it came to those around you, you wouldn't trade them for a million dollars.

Poverty is appalling as are so many other things. We have men who can produce many babies, but not care of any of them. We have women who can conceive babies and terminate them. And we have women who want babies, but don't want to carry them--not because they can't, but because they want to maintain their figure. I believe there are tremendous graces to be had by a woman who carries and delivers a child. I believe there are connections that go beyond even those that we see with mothers.

I have seen in my own life and the life of those around us that God values the soul above all else. Regardless of how a baby is born, grace is with that child and that child is loved by God. God does not discriminate against a baby. But the idea that we could muck things up so badly on the child's journey is frightening yet it happens every day. And I believe that God has great love for mothers--mothers of all kinds--sinners and saints. Even if a mother has terminated the life of her baby, that baby's soul lives on--and God loves both mother and child in all circumstances.

I suppose in some ways, we grow comfortable in our sins and it is easy to point at the sins of others. It's funny though because as a parent, I know the things that bother me the most about my own kids are the weaknesses that they have picked up from their own father. Sometimes it takes the example of one of my kids, for me to see my own faults. Somehow I know we are individual souls and yet we are all connected as well. We sin individually and our individual sins affect the entire family under God. I can't help but feel that when a young frightened girl terminates her pregnancy, we must all share the sin--she cannot bear it all by herself. After all, we have all contributed to our quick fix world of pills and procedures that take care of every problem.

Life is messy and life will always be a struggle.

I'll say a little prayer now for all of us sinners who have a hard time seeing our faults. And I'll say another prayer for mothers of every kind. Regardless of what you do, the Good Lord will always love you and your babies. Please remember that, regardless of what you have done, the Lord will always love you--don't let anyone tell you different including yourself. It's never too late to love life and the life that we call me. If God loves you, you should love yourself. God Bless.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I hope you all enjoy the day and find strength in the example of St. Patrick. I know his humility, his prayer and his sacrifice have added much to my own journey.

St. Patrick's Day is Coming Up

We are less than a month away from St. Patrick's Day and I thought I would make a quick mention of the great Saint's prayer and tell you about a recent encounter. I have posted portions of the prayer here before.

I was visiting a Catholic store a few weeks ago and met up with a woman whose son had gone through school with one of my older kids. Her son had been a nice enough boy when I knew him, but I had heard from my son that he had gotten into some trouble with drugs. I knew next to nothing about what was going on, but you could see there was pain in this woman's face. The woman herself is a wonderful person and devoted mother and wife.

I asked her whether she had seen the St. Patrick holy cards and I pulled a few off one of the shelves. I mentioned that I had learned an appreciation of St. Patrick because of his prayer and his life. I liked the fact that there is a desperation in St. Patrick that comes out in the prayer. I think its message is especially strong for those who are in desperate need. In the prayer, St. Patrick asks for more than help, he asks to be surrounded by Christ from all sides.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me.
Christ below me, Christ above me.
Christ at my right, Christ at my left.
Christ in breadth, Christ in length, Christ in height.

I bought a few cards and she took one for herself as well to read after I left. I also showed her a St. Brigid card that I had bought there before, which has a prayer that asks for God's help in finding peace. She seemed interested in both cards and I hope the prayers would help her. Both prayers are wonderful.

I have been in situations like the one that she is going through where there seems to be no good answer and you have to just ask the Good Lord to hold you up and surround you with His love and protection. We parents are meant to be protectors of our children and often we are, but the one thing we cannot protect them from is their own self destruction. I think many of us who know this woman would view her as an especially devoted mother. May God protect her and her son.

One version of Saint Patrick's Prayer/BreastplateLorica.

David Kelly: Rest in Peace

I suppose here in the states we may see just a few bits of an Irish actor and come to love him. David Kelly was certainly someone who fit the bill for me.

I have a few Irish movies that I watch over and over again. I can't say they are the best Irish films. They might be flawed, stereotypical and cheesy, but I love them nonetheless.

My mother was born in Scotland of Irish parents. She lost both parents at an early age and ended up being raised by her brother over here. Her link to home was letters from her sisters and movies that gave her a sense of what her mother and father's people may have been like. One of her favorite movies was The Quiet Man and I suppose I started watching that on TV at a very young age. I still love it.

One of my favorite Irish films is The Commitments. I have watched The Commitments so many times in the last ten years that I am surprised I have not warn out the disc--although I have a VHS version in reserve as well.

I like the Boys and a Girl from County Clare although by film standards, it can hardly be rated among the great ones. But for me, the price of admission is in a few shots that I sometimes pause at just for the view. There is a scene where Bernard Hill comes out of his farmhouse in the morning with a cup of coffee and you see a breathtaking scene of the farm and sea. I hope it is Ireland! There is another scene where Hill drives into town on a damp foggy evening on his tractor. One of the boys in the first bit of film who is playing the violin resembles myself at that age--so of course I love that scene as well. I was not often barefoot in Chicago like the boy, but the rest of the outfit was pretty close to my wardrobe.

My Kelly Movies

The Matchmaker was recommended to me by a local librarian. In this movie, Kelly appears a few time as a souvenir shopkeeper who also does a bit of genealogy. His role adds a little extra humor to the film. In addition to Kelly, the film is carried by Milo O'Shea and David O'Hara --Janeane Garofala is the lead and does a nice job as well. Maria Doyle Kennedy helps to tie the story and the characters together in her roll as the woman who runs the Inn where most of the action takes place.

In Waking Ned Devine, Kelly has a key role as an Irish island inhabitant who is picked by his pal played by actor Ian Bannen to claim a lottery prize that was won by Ned Devine. Devine it turns out passed away in his home when the winning numbers were called. Bannen's character, his wife in the film-actress Fionnula Flanagan, and Kelly make quite a trio of long-time friends that spend half the film showing off their quirky humor and culture -- and the other half trying to carry out their plan to fool the lottery people and snag the money. In this role, Kelly is able to show a sweet and fun-loving character that surrenders nothing to age.

Many Americans would also remember Kelly as Grandpa Joe in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I am not a big fan of either Charlie movies, but it was interesting to see Kelly in it.

According to press reports, Kelly was best known in Ireland for his role in a miniseries "Strumpet City" and for his stage work in Dublin in the 1950s and 1960s. He's kept busy for the past 50 years having dozens of TV/movie roles in Ireland and British TV--some lasting through series runs.

Like so many people in our lives, in films, music and stage, David Kelly will be missed and never replaced. A man who was skinny beyond skinny, he was a man who made the heart beat and the soul sing.

Image: David Kelly says "goodbye Kitty" and goodbye to all of us in Waking Ned Devine.
My company: http://www.sportingchancepress.com/

Looking for God in All My Places

I have wandering mind. Sometimes it just takes off and heads out to sea or up in the clouds. It usually comes back to me, but it can be aggravating when you really want to focus and you just can't.

I am not a poster boy for Christianity. I do my best, but I often miss the mark by a wide margin. This isn't just false modesty, it's true. Somehow being a Catholic, you are reminded often about how far off the mark you are.

I feel a bit out of place at times when I go to weekday mass and sit with the church ladies. These people are really amazing. They are not the type of people who look down their noses at you -- they are just wonderful people who care deeply about each other and their faith. They take comfort in meeting in the chapel for the rosary every morning and attending mass in the church--and then having a word with each other before they head out to their worldly responsibilities. If I was a Priest, I think the first thing I'd have to admit to myself, is no matter how hard I might try to be holy, there would always be a number of church ladies who would someday sit a few rows ahead in heaven's arena. I think I'd stay away from lecturing them on holiness--it would be like telling Aaron Rodgers how to throw a football.

Along the same lines, like the church ladies, I always had the impression that the nuns were a few rungs up the spiritual ladder than the Priests. The Sisters were not just trying to be good, they were often trying to be perfect--in EVERYTHING--not just their spiritual lives. I know, I had many Sisters as teachers. I even had KP duty with the Sisters of the 1960s a few times--they could spot a spot on a glass from 20 yards. We miss the Sisters, there is no doubt about that. They were special and there are so few of them now it's like they are invisible.

Anyway, getting back to my attention span. When I have the privilege of attending daily mass, my mind can wander. I try all kinds of things to keep it on track, but it still wanders. And if it wanders too much, I feel like I am getting out of touch with the Boss. I mean after all, if you can't connect at church, where can you, right? Sometimes on the odd day, a few hours after the morning mass, I will be close to church in the afternoon on an errand. If so, I will stop in for a prayer. I remember my dad doing that at times. "Let's stop in for a Hail Mary," he would say. Kneeling with my dad in an old quiet church is a very fond memory for me. I wish he were here to still do it with me to this day, even if he would be 100 years old.

I am one of those people who needs to be in touch in God on a regular basis--I need that attachment and that sense of love that I feel when the Boss and I click.

Often when I feel out of touch, life has gotten the best of me and I just haven't put out the effort. I haven't phoned "home." At these times, I just have to step back and remind myself to talk to God in the quiet times. As I curl up in bed and turn off the light, I close my eyes and pray and there we meet again--and everything is all right.