Monday, October 12, 2009

Don't Wait too Long


In my personal experience, the Irish can be a bit pig-headed and stubborn. They can hold grudges against others, but they can also punish themselves unmercifully with equal determination. They can hold onto guilt and emotionally limp through life. Today, some Irish who are Catholic want to blame their religion for much of this guilt, but there are outlets for expelling the guilt in the faith itself and doing it sooner rather than later is best. We all know that it's best to get rid of the guilt and get on with the next challenge.

A dear relative of mine at the age of 65 told me that he had screwed things up in his life when he was a teenager. Rather than put that guilt to bed, he held it close at hand for a fifty years. It became his personal mantra -- I screwed up then and I can't get anything right since. Unfortunately, it also led to him holding the bar very low in terms of his own behavior. He really hadn’t even done anything so terrible, but he could never see himself with a clean slate.

How many people do we know who have done the same thing? Certainly, I can count myself in their number. What are we holding onto ourselves that needs to be put to rest. As another of my relatives used to advise me, “leave it to the man upstairs.” Admit your mistake and move on. Moving on is just as important as admitting your mistake. There is no need to go through life chained to our sins like the ghost of Marley in the Christmas Carol. A life led by regret is not a very well-lived life. As Marley said, “…no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunities misused!” Those opportunities come when we look forward, not backward.